I think it was in 1997. A rough year for me. I hit a low spell and while driving down a freeway I made my case to God why it would be a good idea for Him to let me join Him in heaven. It went something like this.
“You say that what matters most is love. Loving You and loving people. I don’t get this love thing. I’m doing poorly at loving You and cannot figure out how to love people well. I keep messing up! If you let me go to heaven, then I’ll be able to love You well! And I won’t keep messing up in relationships. You will get what You want! And I will get what I want.”
Immediately a very clear God ‘thought’ went through my mind! “Not yet, my child. I want you to have time to lay up treasures in heaven!”
Wow! I had never had that happen before! And the turmoil within me settled into calm!
For about a day.
The unsettledness in my relationships were not resolved and the agony resurfaced. Again rose a debate with God.
“I don’t want treasures and things in heaven! I just want to be out of all this pain. I want to understand love and have relationships!”
And again came His clear communication. “What is a treasure to you? You desire relationships and love! This is what a treasure is to you. Pay attention to the relationships I bring into your life these upcoming years. As you pour your life into them, you are investing into your treasures that you will have for all eternity! Starting on this side of the transition door, you are enhancing what your heart longs for most!”
Again- Wow! And since that day something has been settled with an enthusiastic longing to build into my investments! What an investment plan!
I wish I could say that the issue was completely put to rest. But my heart and soul are too complex for that to be the case. And the conversation continues through the years.
I continued to find myself longing to get to the other side of the transition door! This life is hard! And I want an escape.
My mind started to grumble as I resonated with Paul’s declaration “I desire to go be with the Lord, but it is better for you that I stay…
Childhood themes surfaced… “I am to be here for others at my expense!”
With tender patience, God gently reminded me that it is not at my expense that I am still here loving others. I am making deposits for eternity!
It is for my benefit that I am still on this side… I am having the chance of a life time to be making eternal investments in my treasure trove there!
But… the inside lurking ache to leave sooner than later persisted. And again my soul was surprised by the loving response from Father, Son and Spirit!
“Dear heart, you are longing to experience the divine dance you are already embraced in with Us! Your deepest longing is for the intimate connection with Us! We are your greatest Treasure! Every time you extend love and kindness to others, you are pouring eternal delight and love into Our heart. It will be worth it all when you see Us! Your Treasure trove is expanding!”
I long to get to the other side of the transition door! I’m eternally glad to have time to invest into my Treasure in heaven!
PS. It was not for another several months that a friend brought to my attention that God had stated this so many hundreds of years ago.
II Timothy 6:18,19 They (the wealthy) are to be rich good works, generous and ready to share thus storing up for themselves treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of the life that really is life. So, my ‘daughter’, don’t forget all that has been deposited within you.